So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
