I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
