I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why is there bacon in the couch?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
