Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
