scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
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