I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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