wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
