Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
