This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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