and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
