Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
