Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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