And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
