After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
