I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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