I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
YAS. BRING CRAB.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
