No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
