In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
