I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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