are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
