The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
