I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
