Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
