grandma shit on top of the toilet
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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