just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize