I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
