My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize