Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
