I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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