how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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