My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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