Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
