pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
