Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
