My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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