she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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