chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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