And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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