I accidentally burped into my bong.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
