Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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