you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
