Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it penis luge time yet?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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