Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
