I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
