So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
