you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Holy shit dude........stairs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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