well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
