my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
