I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
