Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
