So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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