If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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