But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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