My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize