It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
