I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
