Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm at about main and main street
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
