We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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