just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
